Holidays Past & Present

3 Xmas' ago my boyfriend was in Iraq
2 Xmas' ago I had gotten engaged and was living in San Francisco
1 Xmas ago I was pregnant and living in Georgia
This Xmas  my baby husband and I are all living in Southern California, rad.

#74, and you call yourself a school district & #75, with feeling

For your reading pleasure, received yesterday, my 74th rejection letter:


Dear Sunny,

Thank you for your interest in the Psychologist (SHORT-TERM POSITION), position at . [yes that was left blank] After careful review of the applications submitted, the screening committee selected other candidates for furtDistrict Office/Special Educationher consideration. We wish you the best of luck in your career endeavors.


X, Ed.D.
Assistant Superintendent, Special Education
X School District

Oddly enough the same day I received this horribly completed rejection form letter, they posted for two open positions, I will apply of course.

Not to be outdone, today I got my 75th via email:

Subject line: So Sorry
(So seriously that was the subject line, so feeling sorry for myself, thanks for reminding me!)

Dear Applicant X,

We appreciate the time and effort you put into your application for the position of Clinical School Psychologist/SELPA at the X School District. A strong group of candidates applied for this postion. The screening committee for the position of Clinical School Psychologist/SELPA did not select you for a personal interview. Your application and supporting documents will be kept in the data base in case another position becomes available.


Thank you for your interest in our district. Best wishes for success in the future.


There is nothing I can do but keep applying and looking into other job avenues.  And try to keep my crying jags to a minimum, totals this week: 2

#73, the nicest yet

I just got my 73rd rejection letter for a school psychologist position. And I have to say, that this is the nicest one yet.  And while I know that it is a form letter and they don't really mean what they say, I somehow feel a  bit warm and fuzzy that those that rejected me last are so nice.


Dear Sunny ,

On behalf of the X School District,


We would like to thank you for your interest in the Psychologist position in our District.  It was difficult to make a selection as all applicants were well qualified.

While you were not selected, we would like to take this opportunity to thank you for applying/interviewing and personally commend you on your professional achievements. 

We were pleased that someone with your qualifications is interested in the X School District.  Please do not be discouraged; be persistent in your goals.  We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

X Martin, MPA
Human Resources Coordinator
X School District

Nicely put huh? I will try not to get discouraged, I continue to be persistent. People ask how we are doing and I honestly answer just fine. The day to day is just fine. We are managing. We spend only on necessities, holiday presents for the baby were done within a budget, we cook a lot and I am oddly enjoying Sons of Anarchy, our entertainment these days.  We could go on like this for a long time. Living with the in-laws is not so bad.  What grips me and sends nausea and chills through me, is the number 73. How the fuck are we going to get out of here? Are we going to be able to continue to manage? So I just try to focus on the day to day ease of things, continue to job hunt, appreciate what we have, and tell myself to be hopeful.  

Ridiculous

Every time I think to myself, how the hell are we going to get back on our feet??? A moment like this occurs and it resonates with me, first I get to be here for every one of these moments and second, my child gets all this love from his grandpa.  Win Win.

The hunt continues

Things here at Casa Fish are good. I mean I continue to torment myself with the anxiety laden voices in my head, but I am trying to fight them.  However, the job hunt continues to be dismal. Every time I think I have a decent lead or in, it fizzles.  I am beginning to feel like I am beating a dead horse. I have to come to grips that what I am doing is not working, and I must do something different if I want to have a different outcome.  Later today I am meeting with some school district officials, thanks MIL, and they are going to give me some feedback.  I am also beginning to think outside the California box. Yep after wishing and hoping and strategizing to get back to California, we are beginning to think the job market for my field is just too tight for me to land a job. And the bottom line is that for now I have the most potential to be the big breadwinner. Hubs is looking into other things too.  We shall see.

When I am not wallowing, I do it well, what can I say? I am able to appreciate this pretty amazing time in our lives. The fishy is growing up so fast, too fast. He is going on 9 months. How the fuck did that happen. Except for him not sleeping through the night, he is a complete joy.  I never thought I would get to be a stay at home mom, and I feel so fortunate to spend all this time with my baby. Living with the in-laws continues to go well. Yeah I get irritated from time to time, but again that is usually due to my own moodiness and not them.  We are beyond fortunate to have this support.