After a momentous laying of 27 eggs our female lizard Georgia was placed back in the 100 gallon enclosure (aka the Titanic), only to be sexually molested all day by our male lizard Henry with repeated humping attempts. We now have TWO enclosures in our front room.
Our beloved kitty Stormy, who we rescued from the wilds of Georgia is currently coming down off of her surgery meds. She is delusional, quarantined to the bathroom and hissing at the potty.
Tomorrow 3 ball pythons will join the 2 hognose snakes on the built-in shelves on the mantle.
Half of my linen shelf for the next 60 days will house the egg incubator. Where will the 27 baby lizards go?
Dinner table discussion tonight: Which is "better"? Being married to a psychologist or herpetologist. Please weigh in.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
TSA, Oh it is ON like Donkey Kong
I knew this was swirling around but hadn't really connected to it until reading Unlikely Wife's excellent Blog Post:
http://unlikelywife.blogspot.com/2010/11/tsa-has-lost-its-damned-mind-no-really.html
Well it got me going. Just like UW I have personal, political and humanitarian reasons to oppose these policies. For me I will be flying next month 6 months preggers and there is no way in HOLY FUCKING HELL I am going through that scanner. You expect me to trust the "research" completed by the company that sells the scanners? How fucking stupid do you think I am?
So that leaves me with the invasive physical search. I am fortunate to have never experienced sexual assault. However, that does not mean that having someone besides my husband or a medical professional touch my body is okay. Um no. It feels like a massive invasion of my privacy, psychological wounding, and just dang wrong. I truly feel for the all the individuals with histories of assault that are being "forced" to undergo this screening. How many of us have been next to a combat vet when a loud noise goes off and we see them violently flinch or better yet hit the ground? I have. And my heart breaks for them. Their wiring has been damaged. For victims of abuse their wiring has also been damaged, and yet we are asking them to put that aside for the sake of "safety". Yeah good luck with that. Tell that to their neurophysiologic reaction that will activate physiological and psychological sequelae as the TSA touches them.
I posted the above title of this blog post on my facebook paged and quite a discussion arose. Trust me there was quite a discussion in my own home. My hubs and I have very divergent beliefs on certain matters. However we respect and appreciate each other's unique viewpoints. One of my FB friend's is a soldier and of course she had a unique perspective, which I acknowledged. Any issue is complex and there are a multitude of viewpoints. I pride myself on being able to separate my narcissistic feelings and appreciate the totality of an issue. I do not respect other individual's opinions when they cannot respect mine, and/or cannot back up their beliefs and rather just regurgitate crap.
I do appreciate there are brave men and women giving their lives for our freedom. Trust me I do. However, that does not mean I hand over my rights. They have fought to preserve those rights so in part I shall honor their fight by fighting for my rights.
I will not go through the scanner if I am selected. Therefore I must submit to a physical search if I wish to travel. Yes traveling is a choice. And if it was feasible to drive across country preggers I would. I realize freedom has a price. I have been talking with my local ACLU who will be monitoring my case. I have been given some directives on how to proceed through the security check. I will not be able to record my experience. I respect that my husband has asked to choose a different security line, for me to use my maiden name, and not disclose his occupation. He has not asked me to refrain from honoring my beliefs.
TSA in the name of safety (psychological and physical) we must come up with a better solution.
http://unlikelywife.blogspot.com/2010/11/tsa-has-lost-its-damned-mind-no-really.html
Well it got me going. Just like UW I have personal, political and humanitarian reasons to oppose these policies. For me I will be flying next month 6 months preggers and there is no way in HOLY FUCKING HELL I am going through that scanner. You expect me to trust the "research" completed by the company that sells the scanners? How fucking stupid do you think I am?
So that leaves me with the invasive physical search. I am fortunate to have never experienced sexual assault. However, that does not mean that having someone besides my husband or a medical professional touch my body is okay. Um no. It feels like a massive invasion of my privacy, psychological wounding, and just dang wrong. I truly feel for the all the individuals with histories of assault that are being "forced" to undergo this screening. How many of us have been next to a combat vet when a loud noise goes off and we see them violently flinch or better yet hit the ground? I have. And my heart breaks for them. Their wiring has been damaged. For victims of abuse their wiring has also been damaged, and yet we are asking them to put that aside for the sake of "safety". Yeah good luck with that. Tell that to their neurophysiologic reaction that will activate physiological and psychological sequelae as the TSA touches them.
I posted the above title of this blog post on my facebook paged and quite a discussion arose. Trust me there was quite a discussion in my own home. My hubs and I have very divergent beliefs on certain matters. However we respect and appreciate each other's unique viewpoints. One of my FB friend's is a soldier and of course she had a unique perspective, which I acknowledged. Any issue is complex and there are a multitude of viewpoints. I pride myself on being able to separate my narcissistic feelings and appreciate the totality of an issue. I do not respect other individual's opinions when they cannot respect mine, and/or cannot back up their beliefs and rather just regurgitate crap.
I do appreciate there are brave men and women giving their lives for our freedom. Trust me I do. However, that does not mean I hand over my rights. They have fought to preserve those rights so in part I shall honor their fight by fighting for my rights.
I will not go through the scanner if I am selected. Therefore I must submit to a physical search if I wish to travel. Yes traveling is a choice. And if it was feasible to drive across country preggers I would. I realize freedom has a price. I have been talking with my local ACLU who will be monitoring my case. I have been given some directives on how to proceed through the security check. I will not be able to record my experience. I respect that my husband has asked to choose a different security line, for me to use my maiden name, and not disclose his occupation. He has not asked me to refrain from honoring my beliefs.
TSA in the name of safety (psychological and physical) we must come up with a better solution.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The calm before the storm, and being Thankful
A very odd conversation took place in our household this past week. I often initiate talks about our feelings, I am a psychologist after all. I like to refer to them as emotional check-ins and somehow this is slightly more palatable to my infantryman hubs. I noticed some stress-related behaviors in the hubs and asked him about his current stress level.
He began to list off all the things he was concerned about. And yes they were all things that had also crossed my mind, but I really wasn't too currently worked up about them. SHOCKING!!! I honestly shared that I wasn't too worried about much at the present moment. Yes, on the horizon there is a shitstorm to worry about. But currently, meh. Things are pretty easy. Sure there is the usual life crap. I mean we just came off a pretty craptastic run that set us back almost 3 large: new engine, tires, dryer broke, vet for kitty, new enclosure for the lizards-yeah everyone is getting popcorn balls for the holidays. But well that is life shit, it is gonna happen and that is why we save!
Today and for the next four months my life is going to consist of filling my time, enjoying my husband, cooking a baby, and living my life. Come spring there are some big tasks ahead: becoming parents and all that entails, finding a job cross country while taking care of a newborn without friends and family around, Hubs will ETS from Army and make sure that the Army doesn't assfuck us, and that his school drop and terminal leave occurs the end of June, Hubs will get enrolled in school and his GI bill comes through, moving across country and finding and setting up a home. Now that is a storm. I worry how we will manage all that, but I know we will.
This is part of the thingy. For the first time in my life I don't feel alone to suffer and endure the trials and tribulations of life. When shit would hit the fan prior to my married life, I would call and cry to my dad who would be sympathetic and do what he could, my friends were supportive, but at the end of the day, it was up to me to get back on my feet. This pull myself up from the bootstraps molded me into a strong and self-sufficient person. But I gotta tell you the suffering on my own was really hard and scary. One of my favorite things about marriage is knowing I am in this life thingy with someone else. We are equally invested in making life smooth and happy. On a regular basis we stop to congratulate ourselves on how well we are doing.
That brings me to the calm. I have been feeling calm. And like that is never an adjective anyone that knows me well would use to describe me. Ever since coming back from my trip to SF I have really felt good. I mean I have my Hilary and hormonal moments where I cry about shit. It just doesn't stick though. I just do not have the sadness that I was carrying around the first months I was here. Not much pragmatically has changed. I still do not have a job and have resigned that I won't have one. I struggle to have a social life but people flake 75% of the time (I have been keeping data). I have way too much empty time on my hands. But I have somehow adjusted to this. The past few weeks hubs work schedule has been pretty light and he has been around a lot. He has been an angel. Even when his new video game came out, he still turned it off to watch Glee with me.
Right now life is a piece of cake. I got this. What has clearly changed is my attitude. I am perceiving my reality differently. I am usually a pretty positive person. I look at life not just as half full, but overflowing with good. I think I just went through a very rough patch. It was a massive adjustment and I had unrealistic expectations. I just couldn't take the disappointment.
I look at what the Hubs and I have right now and I am so incredibly thankful. While he has seen a side of me like never before, and not in a good way, I have seen such a wonderful side of him. Not that I ever doubted it was there. Warning: I am going to wax poetically about my husband-barf. But seriously, it needs to be acknowledged.
I got quite a bit of crap and judgment (a tidbit even from myself) for being single for so long. What I knew was that when I married it was going to be to the right person. A person of extreme character and integrity. I had such a hard time finding that, in addition to great chemistry. I just found potential mates to be so disappointing from a character standpoint. I found them weak, d-bags. The usual status and religious things really didn't matter to me. Yes they had to be intelligent, responsible and stable, but beyond that the degree, profession and religion didn't matter. My approach was often questioned as I dated people from all walks and places. I was often criticized for dating beneath myself. I was like, whatever, go fuck yourself. What was important to me was the person.
When I met the future Mr. Fish I quickly realized that this was a solid person. The second weekend we were together we were dealt with a mini-shitstorm and he was awesome. He showed his true colors and I paused on the great chemistry, took notice, and realized this could be more than a fling. And from that day forward I have never been disappointed in his character. Life dealt me a solid when he walked into my life.
So I have been feeling quite thankful lately. While this year here is different than I had hoped on some accounts. On others it has exceeded my expectations. The quiet of our life here has allowed us to really bond. That sounds so corny and I kinda barfed in my mouth as I wrote that. But it is true. The first 19 months of our relationship, were spent apart. In that time the first 5 months of our marriage was spent apart. Having this time, even though I am in his grill all the time : ) , has been really amazing for us.
We have had the chance to become us, with very few distractions. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I had my past social life, family commitments and career there is no way we would have had the moments we have had. I have had the opportunity to become a wife. We have had the opportunity to build a marriage. We have had the opportunity to really get to know each other. I have gotten the opportunity to breathe, to take myself off the treadmill I have put myself on my whole life and just be. In many ways be my best me. Emotional outbursts/meltdowns and all.
I will be forever thankful for this time we have had. Life will never be this calm again. For now I am gonna cherish this time.
He began to list off all the things he was concerned about. And yes they were all things that had also crossed my mind, but I really wasn't too currently worked up about them. SHOCKING!!! I honestly shared that I wasn't too worried about much at the present moment. Yes, on the horizon there is a shitstorm to worry about. But currently, meh. Things are pretty easy. Sure there is the usual life crap. I mean we just came off a pretty craptastic run that set us back almost 3 large: new engine, tires, dryer broke, vet for kitty, new enclosure for the lizards-yeah everyone is getting popcorn balls for the holidays. But well that is life shit, it is gonna happen and that is why we save!
Today and for the next four months my life is going to consist of filling my time, enjoying my husband, cooking a baby, and living my life. Come spring there are some big tasks ahead: becoming parents and all that entails, finding a job cross country while taking care of a newborn without friends and family around, Hubs will ETS from Army and make sure that the Army doesn't assfuck us, and that his school drop and terminal leave occurs the end of June, Hubs will get enrolled in school and his GI bill comes through, moving across country and finding and setting up a home. Now that is a storm. I worry how we will manage all that, but I know we will.
This is part of the thingy. For the first time in my life I don't feel alone to suffer and endure the trials and tribulations of life. When shit would hit the fan prior to my married life, I would call and cry to my dad who would be sympathetic and do what he could, my friends were supportive, but at the end of the day, it was up to me to get back on my feet. This pull myself up from the bootstraps molded me into a strong and self-sufficient person. But I gotta tell you the suffering on my own was really hard and scary. One of my favorite things about marriage is knowing I am in this life thingy with someone else. We are equally invested in making life smooth and happy. On a regular basis we stop to congratulate ourselves on how well we are doing.
That brings me to the calm. I have been feeling calm. And like that is never an adjective anyone that knows me well would use to describe me. Ever since coming back from my trip to SF I have really felt good. I mean I have my Hilary and hormonal moments where I cry about shit. It just doesn't stick though. I just do not have the sadness that I was carrying around the first months I was here. Not much pragmatically has changed. I still do not have a job and have resigned that I won't have one. I struggle to have a social life but people flake 75% of the time (I have been keeping data). I have way too much empty time on my hands. But I have somehow adjusted to this. The past few weeks hubs work schedule has been pretty light and he has been around a lot. He has been an angel. Even when his new video game came out, he still turned it off to watch Glee with me.
Right now life is a piece of cake. I got this. What has clearly changed is my attitude. I am perceiving my reality differently. I am usually a pretty positive person. I look at life not just as half full, but overflowing with good. I think I just went through a very rough patch. It was a massive adjustment and I had unrealistic expectations. I just couldn't take the disappointment.
I look at what the Hubs and I have right now and I am so incredibly thankful. While he has seen a side of me like never before, and not in a good way, I have seen such a wonderful side of him. Not that I ever doubted it was there. Warning: I am going to wax poetically about my husband-barf. But seriously, it needs to be acknowledged.
I got quite a bit of crap and judgment (a tidbit even from myself) for being single for so long. What I knew was that when I married it was going to be to the right person. A person of extreme character and integrity. I had such a hard time finding that, in addition to great chemistry. I just found potential mates to be so disappointing from a character standpoint. I found them weak, d-bags. The usual status and religious things really didn't matter to me. Yes they had to be intelligent, responsible and stable, but beyond that the degree, profession and religion didn't matter. My approach was often questioned as I dated people from all walks and places. I was often criticized for dating beneath myself. I was like, whatever, go fuck yourself. What was important to me was the person.
When I met the future Mr. Fish I quickly realized that this was a solid person. The second weekend we were together we were dealt with a mini-shitstorm and he was awesome. He showed his true colors and I paused on the great chemistry, took notice, and realized this could be more than a fling. And from that day forward I have never been disappointed in his character. Life dealt me a solid when he walked into my life.
So I have been feeling quite thankful lately. While this year here is different than I had hoped on some accounts. On others it has exceeded my expectations. The quiet of our life here has allowed us to really bond. That sounds so corny and I kinda barfed in my mouth as I wrote that. But it is true. The first 19 months of our relationship, were spent apart. In that time the first 5 months of our marriage was spent apart. Having this time, even though I am in his grill all the time : ) , has been really amazing for us.
We have had the chance to become us, with very few distractions. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I had my past social life, family commitments and career there is no way we would have had the moments we have had. I have had the opportunity to become a wife. We have had the opportunity to build a marriage. We have had the opportunity to really get to know each other. I have gotten the opportunity to breathe, to take myself off the treadmill I have put myself on my whole life and just be. In many ways be my best me. Emotional outbursts/meltdowns and all.
I will be forever thankful for this time we have had. Life will never be this calm again. For now I am gonna cherish this time.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Friday Milspouse fill-in
1. A different twist on last week’s question. This week, the first question is: what’s the nicest thing a MILSPOUSE has ever done for you? (brought to you from navy_smurfette)
Give me advice and normalize my feelings.
2. How often do you drive faster than the speed limit?
Well I have been pulled over 3 times since I moved here 5 months ago, and I have gotten one ticket. However before this I had not gotten a speeding ticket in 7 years.
3. Did you have a nickname in school? If so, what was it?
I gave myself the nickname BJ which was a take on my initials because I thought my name was too girly. I quickly lost that nickname when I found out it stood for something else.
4. If your life was a book, what would the title be and how would it end?
Gosh this is tough, maybe something to do with never giving up, and I would want a happy ending where I had a healthy family.
5. Look back (in your planner if you have one) to September 14th… what did you do that day?
There is nothing down, but seriously that is SSDD these days.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Home for the Holidays
Seriously the hormone rollercoaster of pregnancy has been such a trip. I would never call myself emotionally unstable, but I feeeeeeeeeeeeeel my emotions. And well being knocked-up these emotions take on a whole new trajectory. Basically I spent all of last week crying, and that is not even including my usual cry fests while watching episodes of Teen Mom. I was so broken hearted over not going home for the holidays. Even though rationally I knew it was not the end of the world, far from it.
When Mr. Fish told his parents we were not coming home I laid on the couch in the fetal position with a woobie WAILING!!! Not pretty. Then the phone calls started coming. His parents and aunt started lobbying hard. I swear to G-d I have newfound respect for the Catholics ability to use guilt as a weapon of persuasion. These folks have got nothing on my Bubbe.
In a nutshell they offered to fly us home as a Xmas present. I was floored. We spent a few days trying to decide if we should take them up on the offer. I do not believe in hand-outs, especially as an adult. We felt we should reserve our out-stretched hands for a dire situation. But in the end, there is no other present I would rather have than time with the people I love. I am not a thing person. In my mind riches are not figured out on a balance sheet, but rather through the embrace with those you love. So we took them up on their offer.
WE ARE GOING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS!!!!
I am so happy. I cried with happiness too. Mr. Fish's aunt said the holidays just wouldn't be the same without me there. That last year was the best holidays they had had in a long time. Maybe it had something to do with the situation I recorded below. Yeah my in-laws rock!
When Mr. Fish told his parents we were not coming home I laid on the couch in the fetal position with a woobie WAILING!!! Not pretty. Then the phone calls started coming. His parents and aunt started lobbying hard. I swear to G-d I have newfound respect for the Catholics ability to use guilt as a weapon of persuasion. These folks have got nothing on my Bubbe.
In a nutshell they offered to fly us home as a Xmas present. I was floored. We spent a few days trying to decide if we should take them up on the offer. I do not believe in hand-outs, especially as an adult. We felt we should reserve our out-stretched hands for a dire situation. But in the end, there is no other present I would rather have than time with the people I love. I am not a thing person. In my mind riches are not figured out on a balance sheet, but rather through the embrace with those you love. So we took them up on their offer.
WE ARE GOING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS!!!!
I am so happy. I cried with happiness too. Mr. Fish's aunt said the holidays just wouldn't be the same without me there. That last year was the best holidays they had had in a long time. Maybe it had something to do with the situation I recorded below. Yeah my in-laws rock!
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