Keeping it in perspective

Most recently Fish's unit has begun to have an active FRG. He will have been in this unit two years come January and just now there is an FRG. Um, okay. The leaders of the FRG got necklaces made from the pins that go on the berets. Um, okay. No one was going to the events, so now if your spouse doesn't come the soldier has to. So now I am going and finding it highly amusing. When I hear about where people are PCS'ing to next, Italy!, I get a bit wistful. When people hear about our plan, to move back to California and in with our parents with a baby and a kitty in tow, they get a bit aghast. I guess there is nowhere in the etiquette manual for how to act around us defectors. No we are not retiring, no we are not independently wealthy, yes we are basically winging it and hoping it works out. The conversation usually ends about there.



But the conversation keeps going in my head. I would say 90% of the time I am pretty chill about our situation. We did everything we could to be in a better financial/vocational situation, but it didn't work out. We truly want to return to California and believe we will eventually get on our feet. I am choosing to dwell on the positive. We have a gorgeous baby. The statistics were not in our favor. At 38 years of age it was not supposed to come to us so effortlessly. I have friends and those on the blogosphere who so struggle with this. I will never lose the perspective of how grateful we are. I have the most amazing in-laws who love us so and will do almost anything to support us. I did not grow up in such a family, but married into one. I will never lose the perspective on how fortunate I am. I spent years pounding the pavement as a single female and then happenstance brought me the Fish. I was 36 when I met him, he was deploying to Iraq a month later. But we fell in love despite this and have a wonderful relationship. I will never lose perspective on how lucky I am.



When other thoughts enter my mind I think of these faces.





Getting Big!



Love conquers all we hope!



truly won the in-law lottery

Reality

I hold these truths to be self-evident:



I could not have tried harder to secure a job in California.



The economy is bad.



The Employment Development Department is a mess.



I will be writing the three trips to CA off on my taxes as job search related expenses.



We will be living with my in-laws until we are on our feet again.



Transition from military to civilian world is no joke.



Our problems are ones with solutions and we will eventually achieve success.



Our third trip to CA was woefully unsuccessful. It began with Fish attempting to work in his Grandma's company only to be shut-down and to learn that the company is doing quite poorly. Then as Grandma's finances and life are being examined as she goes into the nursing home, the possibility of living in her home is becoming slim. During my interview it was readily apparent they were going through the motions and had already found their candidate. In fact one of the people on the interview panel had a malfunction with the mute button on their computer and we all heard that he was playing Angry Birds. I. SHIT. YOU. NOT. In lieu of re-hiring me, my old job hired three freshly out of graduate school psychologists and didn't have the courtesy to let me know I was not selected. We arrived in CA on Sunday and by Tuesday evening I was bawling my head off. And oh yeah Fishy got up at 4am every morning since he was on East Coast time.



So yeah the trip was one big very expensive hot mess. I tried really hard to shake the mood and enjoy our time. We are pulling ourselves together and moving forward. Luckily the Fish has been so amazing. Truly I am really appreciating his rational maleness right now. I wail and ramble about how frustrated and hurt I am. He stays calm and somehow finds the positives in the situation. He whips out the military lingo and it actually makes sense. He looks at it as we are coming back from a deployment in Georgia and have to come home to re-set. It is going to take some time. Perhaps we were unrealistic that we were going to transition so easily. Perhaps the shitty economy is a variable. But we are going to be okay and he is excited for us to be back in California. And he is excited to live with his parents because he sees how great it is to have that support. He is excited to join the Reserves. So for now we are waiting our ETS orders and will be heading out of here the beginning of November. And then? We will deal with it as it comes.

Westward March Part III

In four days I am getting on a plane and heading to California for an interview. This was decided today because I got a call for an interview today and need to be there asap. I cannot believe I am making a third trip. Or shall I say we are making a third trip. Since I will have the Fishy of course, but this time I will have the Fish as well. He is between training classes and thus he can take leave, and once again his awesome company gave him leave on short notice. Hooray Army!

I am trying not to get excited about the prospect of this job as I have learned from very recent experience, I am very far from actually getting a job. But there are some serious positives. The job location is commutable distance from the in-laws and from grandma's house. The in-laws and grandma live 45 miles apart and somehow this place is sorta in the middle. Nice. Miles in Southern California are like dog years, one mile equals 20, so a commute of 20 miles could very well take you two hours if you are so unlucky. So if miracles occur I could live at the in-laws for several months while Fish finishes the Army in Sweatyville and then we could move into grandma's. Not too shabby. The job also has great benefits, like fully paid benefits for yourself AND your dependents. That is basically unheard of in public education in California these days. Nice. again.

This prospect almost wanted to make me want to hold off on Fish joining the reserves, as we were doing that for health care. (FYI: less than $200 a month to have tricare standard, that is CHEAP!!) But Fish has gotten a bit gungho about the Reserves, so okay, go for it. It is a one year commitment with zero possibility of a OCONUS (overseas, Afghanistan) deployment. I mean one weekend a month is nothing major and two weeks a year, is not bad either. Plus his reserve base is get this 2 miles from grandma's. Nice. again. again.

When I first got the call for the interview (actually an email) and began thinking about the schlep out to CA, I was excited but a bit weary at the thought of doing the haul again. But then I got the idea for Fish to come as well. And then I started getting really excited. Hello it is 1am and I am blogging, can't sleep. We should probably be saving our money and not springing for two plane fares, but what the fuck, let's live a little. It has been way stressful of late trying to figure out our life. I have felt like we have been trying to nail jello to a tree, as the saying goes. Let's go home as a family and have some fun. So that is exactly what we are going to do. Amen